Meditation on Long Distance #3

We can become weary through physical exhaustion (09/24), We can become weary through doing work and activities that go against the grain of vocation (0925).

A third way of becoming weary is the result blaming behavior—“it must be someone else’s fault.” During last night’s ISS* gathering, we listened to Ari Handel spin the story of his life as a researcher and Santiago, his monkey. For a listen yourself, go to: http://www.themoth.org/listen. In the story, the researcher finds ways to manipulate Santiago’s behavior. Santiago goes along with this until one morning, he is no longer willing to play the game. The project then becomes a battle of wills. Ari’s comment: “I was engaged in a battle of wits with an animal with the brain the size of my fist, and I was losing….” So Ari concocts and implements plans until the monkey relents. Ari wins the battle of wills, but Santiago is no longer a spirited monkey. Sanitago does his work, then goes home. He’s no longer interested or interesting. The relationship between Ari and Santiago is one of master and slave, owner and cubicle inhabitant. But Ari, the grand perpetrator wonders, “why is he (Santiago) doing this to me?”

That’s just it, we wonder, why is he/she/it/the system/my system/my instructor/my family/the world/my church/God doing this to me? These are questions not fit for the weak of heart because they beg us to find answers deep within our spiritual lives. It’s all about not taking responsibility for what we’ve done or thinking through that for which we hope.

Here’s a few paragraphs from a concentration camp in WWII about the same thing (yeah, this really happened):

“It had been a bad day. On parade, an announcement that had been made about the many actions that would from then on, be regarded as sabotage and therefore punishable by immediate death by hanging. Among these were crimes such as cutting small strips from our old blankets (in order to improvise ankle supports) and very minor “thefts.” A few days previously a semi-starved prisoner had broken into the potato store to steal a few pounds of potatoes. The theft had been discovered and some prisoners had recognized the “burglar.” When the camp authorities heard about it they ordered that the guilty man be given up to them or the whole camp would starve for a day. Naturally the 2,500 men preferred to fast.

On the evening of this day of fasting we lay in our earthen huts—in a very low mood. Very little was said and every word sounded irritable. Then, to make matters even worse, the light went out. Tempers reached their lowest ebb. But our senior block warden was a wise man. He improvised a little talk about all that was on our minds at that moment. He talked about the many comrades who had died in the last few days, either of sickness or of suicide. But he also mentioned what may have been the real reason for their deaths: giving up hope. He maintained that there should be some way of preventing possible future victims from reaching this extreme state.” (read about Frankl’s speech to the captives following p. 102 “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Victor Frankl)

We do not have to do time in a WWII concentration camp to understand how giving up hope can remove the will to live with meaning. We can see it in others, we see it in our city’s violence between citizens, we see it in ourselves. Evidently, Jesus saw it as well:

Matthew 20:
20Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came to him with her sons, and kneeling before him, she asked a favor of him. 21And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Declare that these two sons of mine will sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.” 22But Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.” 23He said to them, “You will indeed drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left, this is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”
24When the ten heard it, they were angry with the two brothers. 25But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. 26It will not be so among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, 27and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; 28just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.”

The mother of James and John, and the brothers themselves decided it would be good to improve their position in life by asking for a change in relation to Jesus. They gave all the power to that formal request. They were willing to make a deal. They would have been better off, I think, by taking responsibility for their own lives and improving themselves. That change would have resulted in a change of relationship with their leader, Jesus.

Perhaps a healthy step removing weariness in their lives would have been to not let their mother take care of things for them!

Instead of fighting with our Santiagos and Saviors (so we can get what we want out of them and later blame them when things do not go our way), why not make take some responsibility for ourselves and determine, “What have I done? What do I really hope for? Is there any connection between the two?” If there’s no connection, what will you do about that?


*(Inclusive Spiritual Seekers, 8 PM, Tuesdays, the Tower Room, 3rd floor of MBSC—you’re welcome to join us. Next week is music night. Two or three people bring music that moves them spiritually. The only rule is that the music must not be playable on Christian Rock stations and yet is deeply moving to the person bringing it to the meeting.